Tag Archives: self

Ushering the new year in.. (belated)

Alright, so the previous post, the answer to What is the Crotch Shop is..

 

The Crocs shop.

You know.. that company that does these hideous-as-sin shoes:

Well done in guessing. Pat yourselves now, lurkers.

Anyhoos, It’s already the 5th of January 2015! Imagine that. 5 days flew by, just like that. In a snap. Gone.

I haven’t properly wished everyone on here: A happy new year 🙂

I started out my new year on an extremely positive note! For the first time ever, watched fireworks and contemplated my 2014 with people i thought i had lost. That was the best gift so far, and i am really, really happy about that. I don’t want to be bringing 2014 baggage over, and wish to start anew if they would be okay.

2014 was too much a bumpy road for myself, i couldn’t cope then, resulting in bad reactions and decisions to many situations. Also been in a slow emotional recovery for awhile now and am feeling much, much better and more well-balanced. Also been trying to educate myself and am trying to continue journaling as it’s therapeutic, considering the moment i stopped; i became crazy, unbalanced and withdrawn. It’s been an interesting self study and i realize i need outlets to release every emotion and idea, negative and positive and i cannot just do nothing. So i’ll have to keep that in mind..

On new years day, had high tea at Carousel with my eventually-soon-to-be new family (Mr Softie’s) whom i am very fond of, and again, an impromptu dinner at Badoque’s, Simpang (whose portions are just overwhelmingly huge)  on the 2nd Jan with the same people again..

It was just a fantastic start. And it’s a great wave to be riding.

So here is a proper, Happy, happy, HAPPY New Year 2015 to everyone! I hope everyone is as content, as happy and as at peace as i am. I couldn’t imagine a better start (or ending to my year). I’m so super grateful it’s ridiculous, i could cry.

Until my next post!

Stay blessed, and be kind. ❤

p.s Shan’t post the resolutions, no?

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A short story about The Little Glutton.

Caution: This entry will contain lousy translations, but translations nonetheless. Bear with me my fluffy..

So i am already very tired and bloated and incoherent right now but i am still typing (coherently, i hope).

I was reminded of just now at work.I am often always munching on something or other at the counter (i work in a salon on reception, for anyone who has no idea) hence the blobbiness. And i was chewing happily away at this yummy layer cake. I dont even eat layer cakes on regular days, but it was given to me. My mother, (or was it somebody else’s mother.. hmm.. cant remember.. i dont recall the tiger giving away any philosophy or wisdom to us..) always advised “rezeki jangan ditolak

(Translation: Don’t push away good fortune. Dont beat me up, this  could be lost in translation.. i asked my sisters how would i translate it in english and they gave me this lousy… oh nevermind)

There i go rambling again.

So anyway, i was eating (what’s new) and then the girl from the brand next next to ours was like “ashik makan je! makan je tau..” (always eating! )

I slowly wheeled around from my swivel office  chair and turned to face her and went rather venomously:

Abeh jealous ah? kau nak ke apa?” ( then jealous? you want is it?) and shoved my layer cake under her nose until she went cross-eyed looking at it.

Aku sepak muka kau k. (slap your face k.) I get very ugly when i’m eating. Seriously. You can be sure i just swiveled back on my office chair and continued munching on *MY* cake and smiling a small triumphant smile.

-The END-

So that’s the short i was waiting to write down. She has annoyed me greatly with that one little sentence.

And then there was that other incident just now.  It was nearing closing time. I was alone at the counter waiting for this last customer who was late (as usual) for her appointment (let me tell you, all of us are customers ok? PLEASE don’t be late for your appointments can?? I wish i could give all of you latecomers a resounding slap collectively.. so my arms won’t be too tired from swinging around with gusto)

So i was just there, waiting patiently for the twerp to turn up and i just thought i actually have started to stink a little.. you know.. it’s been a long sunny day. I didn’t wear a deo so i just sort of wanted to double check if it really was me. So i looked around to check if i was truly alone (i was), and i slowly lowered my head, furtively looked around and started sniffing tentatively at my.. umm.. *embarrassed giggle* to put it coarsely, armpits.

When SUDDENLY OF COURSE my long awaited customer came in to my view from the  corner of my eyes and stood directly infront of  the counter, right infront of me while i was still rather unglam-ly sniffing away at my armpit. She looked at me critically with eyes full of judgement. -________-

I was beyond embarrassed.

*was*

I have lost all sense of feeling after that. It all happened in a split second! i was just tentatively sniffing and she just rounded the corner.. MY FAULT MEH???

TSK!

You can be sure the transaction was rather awkward on my part.

Sigh.

It’s 2013 and i am still not a picture of grace and tranquility. WHY?? WHYYYY…

Well, goodnight then.

P/S : Mr Softie wants a small mention on the blog. Lol how cute. You are the best partner i have ever had ok? 🙂 Thank you for always being sweet, caring and tentative and managing me very well. I can’t imagine how my life would be without your companionship and love. (wah! see! all the flowery words..)

Love you ❤ You’ll be fine for July, k? Don’t worry.

IMG_3888I FEEL SO PRETTY LOOKING AT THIS PICTURE *wipes a stray tear away*. (he just looks all like… ummyeahi’mwithher *regrets*)

In pursuit of Beauty : A rant.

Image

So!
Yesterday i went to have my free eyebrow embroidery done. That’s how it looks like today, rather than how it looked like a few days ago, like a forest after a wildfire. Sparse and lifeless.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m not saying i love my new brows (i’m neutral to it) To be honest, it’s only done because my manager forced me to and it’s a treatment worth hundreds or more in a package but because one of her therapists needed quality check done  and they needed models so she shoved me in it. My manager can be very annoying and naggy sometimes and she is certainly very naggy about my brows and hair and everything that is imperfect about me. Because i cannot be bothered about them, i mean, there is more to life isn’t it?!

Personally i am fine with my hair, i don’t give a flying squirrel’s butt about how frizzy it is or how little i comb my hair. I don’t care how my eyebrows are so sparse they look like gay spiders. I don’t care. Because i am fine with how i look like, and all these people who think they’re all better than the other people who don’t give a rat’s ass about how they look, i would like all of you to please throw yourselves off a cliff.

However, i understand why she forced me to because it is the nature of the job itself. As sad as it sounds. She just wanted to sell the brand better. I totally get it. And i’m sorry i’m this way. However i feel it is wrong to talk down to me because you think i look all wrong.

I don’t mind if you’re obsessed with beautifying yourself. Really, i’m fine. I have this friend who is spending thousands on facial IPL treatments complete with skin rejuvenating properties and she looks like a million bucks of course. But that’s her problem you know? if it makes her happy then i say go for it. But i’d draw the line if she starts telling me to do IPL also, or if she asked me to do nose hair tweezing or oh, i don’t know, decorative semi-permanent butt enhancing? Because i wouldn’t want to. And if she keeps forcing me to, i’d slap her. I would slap her because i love her and she’s my friend but i didn’t slap my manager or colleague(s) for fear of being sacked.. in disgrace. As much as i want to leave, i’d leave with dignity and a clean record. I don’t want to be known as the staff who physically harassed people.

And that’s unfair because other people are harassing me and i cannot retaliate in kind, you see?! The injustice of it all..

If you are ruining people’s days and moods by pointing out the other person’s problematic areas, i just hope you get run over by a truck because you really have no right and you are so shallow it makes me sick.

What i want to highlight in this post is, that beauty is subjective. What is beautiful to you, may not be beautiful to someone else. It is weird because, yeah, maybe this pair of eyebrow might sit well and make me fit in better. But it doesn’t mean i’m happy about it. It doesn’t mean it will look good to my family or someone else, even myself. Just like how everyone tells me to straighten my hair because they think it will look better on me. Perhaps because it will make me look more mainstream and accepted because everyone has straight hair there.

Well you know what? I like my curls better than your boring spaghetti hair. And when i tell them that, they get all shocked, like it’s unheard of. Yeah, because everyone in this world wants to look like everyone else, is that it? I just wish people would stop telling other people what to do. I guess i have myself to blame because i keep throwing myself in the path of these kinds of industries. I mean, what happened to caring about morals, compassion or even simple skills like reading Ha. Who am i trying to kid, can’t find that anywhere from wherever i’ve  come from. Those industries will stay the way they are and mould more of those types of people. It’s just the way it is, if i wanted to break free, then leave.

I used to be very obsessed with looking good and would get very depressed if i looked less than pretty on a good day, but i’ve realized for a while now that i don’t really care about this anymore. I want something else, i want something more solid and promising. How far can “beauty” bring a person? I don’t want to be shallow anymore. I know that there are more important things in this world that i should really start looking into, i also have ambitions and dreams that i want  to come into fruition. I actually have things that i really do care about.

I don’t want to be in this situation anymore and therefore i am looking for other opportunities that are closer to home and closer to my heart, i also want to pursue projects i have abandoned but recently have started gearing up for again. I want to do things that i really care about, because i am past that tolerant stage.

I am getting intolerant and bored out of my mind.

So this post is beyond the topics of subjective beauty and the perils of pursuing the mainstream, much less is it about my freshly embroidered brows, it is also not entirely about my unhappiness with people forcing me to do things.  it is more than that, it is in fact a therapeutic outlet for me because i am procrastinating on my project that i’m supposed to be writing right now and i just needed to rant all the feelings i’ve kept bottled up even if they don’t presently make sense.

Right this minute, i am setting myself free.

P/S: All fellow Wrimoers.. i wish you well. I’m really extremely behind, and these are cringingly bad proses.. But i’m trying. It’s better to try than sat in the dark wondering if you could, also it’s better to have started at all than to not start and wonder if you could. Ten more days.

pp/s: this post alone has a 1072 word count. If only i could produce that number on the Nano novel.. pssh.

Rubber stamp mania! blogpost!

Right, so i'm waiting for my mud pack to dry right now and i decided i'd write something here. 🙂

Today marks the first day of Ramadhan! (So Selamat Berpuasa to all sisters and brothers!)

It feels like such a fruitful day today. I am tired, but sort of in a blissful way? Spent the day by following to Vivo. She needed to go to Daiso (where everything is for $2.00! TWO DOLLARS. goodness. i can now die happy knowing that there are things selling for that kind of pricing in SG, of course it's a Japanese brand… whatever) So in Daiso, we were looking high and low (she was.. i on the other hand was just walking around with a dazed look on my face because i wanted everything i saw) for knitting needles. The metal kind. She's been into crocheting and knitting lately, which is really cool. Unfortunately for you, she's not very good at chronicling her adventures on her blog so if you do click on her link today, it'll still show pictures of the scones she took. Oh wait, i checked, it's updated already! 

Okay enough. So anyway, yes, we were looking for metal crochet needles but apparently Daiso @ Vivo just seems to have VERY limited stocks. I don't know if it's because everyone is developing this knack for knitting or what, but the rack is EMPTY of needles. We know it's supposed to be there because there's one lonely little packet of wooden crochet needles left hanging. The started getting frustrated and was whining.. whereby i was gallivanting around the stationary section of Daiso, touching the notebooks, grabbing a packet of colorful ball point pens (it is BEEYUUTIFUL, i am so going to enjoy journaling nowadays, it's crazy)

We happened to pass by the rack that sold stamp sets. You know the rubber stamps where you have to stamp onto an ink pad and stamp it on paper? Yes. That one. They had lots of different designs. I bought them all. 

………………………………………………….
…………………………………………..
dot dot dot..

i know.

i know.

i shouldn't have.

It's horrible of me.

BUT I LOVE IT!

How i wish i could show you pictures of it. But i shan't. I could (with a little extra effort) but i shan't. I shall just describe to you what i bought.

– a classy minimalist looking cardboard box to store my new collection of stamps (I am officially going to start collecting stamps now.)

– a pastel pink ink pad (it's a beautiful, strawberry-milk hue.. so dreamy)

– five sets of rubber stamps, wooden blocked. The prints range from a crown, cupcake, ribbon, horse and a carriage (my personal favourite), and a mantelpiece with jars and teapots and a penny-farthing which looks like this:

which is also another one of my favourites. Actually, i love ALL of it. But i have an incredibly soft spot for the old school ones. (i.e horse and carriage etc, ring a bell?)

I also got the really small stamps whose prints were fork & spoon, an envelope, scissors and more. Really, REALLY cute.

Oh, life is wonderful.

I love them all. 🙂

Guilty pleasure..

With that said, i'll leave you to ponder about your own obsessions. 

Goodnight!

P/s: ST found her needles. We went to Spotlight @ Plaza Singapura and they had a whole set with all the different sizes and.. do you call them "nibs"?. Also in different metallic colours! i wouldn't mind getting myself one set just for the fun of it (hoping an obsession with knitting will manifest in the near future) Because it is GORGEOUS. No regrets. So both of us went home happy, Each carrying a plastic bag full of wonderful possibilities. 🙂

I’m typing this out while blinking blearily…

Hi there! 

I am really, reaaaally sleepy but i refuse to sleep and even though it's an incredibly wonderful weather, i need to be here first. I just want to type something here. Today The Boy and i went to the library (yes!) to read (yes!) and i just want to express my appreciation for him and how keen he is and how patient & tolerant he is with my quirks and obsessions. Thank You TB 😀

Work's been… umm. No comment really. Just that i've actually lost $204.37 due to some mistakes. I don't wish to talk of it here because it sickens me to the stomach when i even think about it. 😦 

Oh! and I've cut my hair.. no. It's not actually short. After letting my hair grow out like an untamed bush, i finally relented and went to the hairdressers. I used to be a beauty junkie when  i was younger but i realize as i grow older i am sooooooooo damn lazy to even wait at the salon. So last saturday, being my off day, i went. I told the stylist to do whatever it is he wanted, all i wanted was to trim the dry ends and the blond parts away. He said he'd give me a style he'd done for a hair show a couple of months ago… and the result was a short front and longer length behind. Edgy i suppose, i just never counted on the fact that my hair would spring up after washing and become it's wavy self. In the mob of well coiffed, smooth and straight, shiny haired people at work, i really stick out like a sore thumb. They don't like curls and waves and thick hair. They don't. 

I'm trying to keep convincing myself that there is nothing wrong with my hair, only it's kinda hard when you spend your days with people telling you that you look like a "problem". 

I haven't been happy you know.

I'm wondering if there's something i can do to stop myself feeling this crappy. To stop myself feeling this way about things. 

I just feel depressed. 

I just want to be happy. To be told i'm beautiful just the way i am. That i'm smart. That i'm good enough. I don't want to feel this battered. 

shite. i'm one step closer to level: EmoTeen Slashing Her Wrist. Only i'm no longer a teen. *gasp*

P/s: i've been looking at mobile phones.. That, is another update. Well, goodnight..