Tag Archives: customer profiling

Comex weekend & how cust. service trumps everything

So Comex Weekend has concluded.

Hope everybody had an exciting time going nuts and buying gadgets. *jealously filing fingernails*

Continue reading Comex weekend & how cust. service trumps everything

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The Expo of Rude People

So yesterday sisters and i went to the Art Science Museum at MBS to go to the Da Vinci exhibit (which we never had enough time to finish, so it wont be long before they see my face there again). It was a lovely day, nice and sunny and everything, some people were late *camera pans over to Myst Exile*.. and some people were pissy and grumpy because they haven’t eaten.. *camera pans to Strange Tea*.. and then, there were also some people who just couldn’t have their bubble burst because it was a Sunday *camera pans over to me, grinning manically*

And aside from a rude, questionably dressed white guy who was impatient that it took awhile for us to pay for our tickets and bitchily said loudly “yaaay! they finally learnt how to paaaaay” to our retreating backs. It was a lovely, educational trip. So to the white guy who looked like he belonged in a circus with his ridiculous top hat, red military looking jacket and black shorts, I just wanted to inform you that there are no circuses here as far as i know, i mean hello, CAVALIA left like last year August 2014. Did they not want your avant garde ass anymore? Please buy some manners and a new fashion sense if you have the money to be spending at museums which you obviously just disinterestedly skim through. Geez, why the hell were you even there.

Before i continue on  though, can i just say i am really liking where i’m working now, do you know how many books i have finished while there’s not much to do? DO YA? No you don’t. It’s plenty of books okay. At the rate i’m going i might as well just swallow all my books.. and my sisters’. HAH . So they can’t have them when everyone of us move out of this house. There will be no squabbling over the books, and if they want to see the books i swallowed, they need to press my belly button and i shall just recite the summary and story from memory.

But anyway, shh. Don’t be telling the company. And i also got my first nastiest customer by the name Mr Robin (there are a lot of robinses in this world, i trust, yeah? I shan’t put a fake name because then that name belongs to someone else and no name deserves to be tainted by this mofaka’s terrible, terrible, terrible manners and lack of respect for people, sorry to the other Polite Robins in the world) I got this idiot on the phone like on my second day of work. His issue was that he was using an iphone, but he can’t seem to open up any apps on his phone.

So as per our training (and as is usual if you’re in cust svc), we need to relay back to the customer the information he had given us to confirm that it is correct and that it is understood. So that is what i did.  He started flipping out when i merely repeated back what i understand to him, he flipped out, my friends. He legit went berserk over the phone on me and verbal abused me. He called me stupid, asked me which part did i not understand, what language will make me understand, is it tamil, tagalog or what language i need, and repeatedly called me stupid.

It was my first or second day, and already i got such a shit excuse of a 40+ year old person verbal abusing me on the phone. I was, needless to say, super shocked. I was in shock. I didn’t know how to handle the call, all i did was just try to understand his issue and situation so i could further help him better, and instead of helping me and just as easily perhaps just agree with me that yes, that is the problem, he hurled insult after insult at me. I think if i recall correctly i was already breaking out in sweat and my mind was blank, all prior solutions i’ve learnt flew out of the window, i felt like crying.

I put this asshole on hold, tried to find a senior for help. The senior looked as if he was seasoned with this kind of behavior, i, on the other hand, have never experienced such complete and utter rudeness, not in person anyway, and i guess it is easier to hurl insults at people you can’t see, right? What a coward. Although i can’t be too sure — remember the recent viral video of that other ugly looking uncouth idiot who was shouting at a taxi driver non stop throughout the ride? Perhaps this Mr Robin i encountered is as ugly in person as he is on the phone. I don’t know. I know that i couldn’t imagine being this rude to someone who wasn’t rude to me in the first place. I was brought up with manners i suppose, which some people deeply lack, sadly.

So when i calmed down, i released the hold and told Robin to just backup his iphone and restore the software. There was no thanks, no nothing, only asked if he needed to wait for me to do anything to which i said no. Then he hung up.

What a rude person. I wonder if he would die of a heart attack one day if he could easily just blow up about nothing. It makes me hope.

I took down his IC number, home address and phone number. Anyone wants to have some fun or feel like harassing people justifiably, get in touch.. and then we’ll pretend we never had that conversation.

3 more hours for me to go before i can go home.. Hmm.. to surf the net or read my book? Ahh.. the struggle. :p

By the way! There was this pop up store at CityLink called Booktique and they had the most beautifully covered books i have ever seen so far. They change locations from time to time, thats what the person told me, but they have very very interesting books and i got myself one titled: “Black cats and evil eyes” by Chloe Rhodes. It’s for inspirational purposes, writing-wise 😉 fun.

 I suggest anyone who is remotely even interested in books to please check them out and give some support!

Looking for the crotch shop? We got you.

Today i receive my favourite-est question to date. It’s such a beautiful moment to remember.

Guest comes up to me.. from the body language, i am positive we were going to have trouble understanding each other.

Me: Afternoon, how are you..?

Guest: hi..ummm.. where is the crotch shop?

Me: (removes the ear piece to the walkie so i can hear better, i must be dreaming) Sorry?

Guest: You have the crotch shop here? where ?

Me: The… crotch shop..?

Guest: yes..

Me: (blank staring, mouth slackened, mind ablaze with images of various crotches hanging around in a store)

Me: I’m……………… you………. i’m sorry, really sorry, the what?

I didn’t have notepad on me. So i took out the map and tried hard looking for the name. I would think that was the first store i would visit, i wouldn’t have missed it on a map. Guess what the guest was looking for?

We should open one store like it.

Right after Little Miss Crotch, i received another trippy question. I was stationed at the (now new) counter near the food court. The food court, being literally right in front of me.

Guest: Hi.. where is the food court?

Me: Just go straight, there. (gestures with wide open palms towards his destination which is staring us in the face)

Guest: Where? (looks at me instead of my palms) go down?

Me: There!.. just go straight..

Guest looks at the way i pointed.

Me: You are looking at it.. (God. Am i the one who’s hallucinating?)

Guest: (confused staring at the what, to me, looks exactly how a food court would look ) Where??! Go down??

Me: Just go straight.

Guest: Ok. (walks off, still confused)

Me: (is dying to say) If you want, you can go down, come up again.. run around the escalators, do a few push ups, run to the south side and then come back to just go straight. Ta-Da! Food court. Magic.

Sigh. *rubs temples*

That’s not my name.. i mean it is, but it’s not.

I really can’t stand it when complete strangers think it’s ok to address a customer service rep by name. We are not friends. Please stop that.

I was still attending to another guest when this little prick rudely interrupted me:

“Asfa..”

I don’t know him. Without looking at him, i held up my hand to his face, flared my nose a little (i do this when something’s pissing me off) and said tightly “hold on, please”. I mean is he blind or something? I am clearly attending to another person.

He waited.

Once my first guest was done, i turned to him and the little prick.. again said;

“Asfa, where can i get a taxi..”

Each time i heard my name from his mouth, my hair prickled and i could feel my anger rising. It’s irrational, really.

I directed him.. Next question:

“So.. Asfa,” At this point, i was ready to strangle him or myself with the closest telephone cord, maybe he goes first and then his whole family behind him. “It’s outside the casino?”

That’s what i said you.. &%^^$%^$%%&.. After my standard “pleasure, have a good day”

“Thanks Asfa!”

Who the EFF are we? Are we friends? Buddies? You don’t know me. I don’t know you. I don’t call you “My pleasure, Prick, have a good night” do i??? Don’t try to get too familiar with service people, we don’t like it. You’re trying to impose on us by doing that. It feels like it anyway, you’re trying to exert a certain control by using our names.

I hate it so much. I felt so angry i took off my nametag furiously and am still fuming, currently. It’s not allowed, but one more time i hear my name from an unworthy stranger who speaks it (who has absolutely no manners nor patience) and i am seriously going to start emitting smoke on the sides and burst into flames and eat them whole.

Otherwise life at the counter is peachy really. I’m just gonna wait for time to go home, now. another 40 minutes. 😀

p/s: On second thoughts, them calling me by my name is always better than incessantly being called  “hello! hello.. Miss.. MISS, HELLO!” from the back. I should be grateful. Thank you, Prick.

What time the rain stops?

This happened to a colleague of mine:

The day was raining heavily and most guests were trapped in the mall with nothing else to do except ride an indoor boat or eat expensive stuff until they explode or become bankrupt, whichever comes first.

Female Guest approaches my colleague’s counter:

Guest: *aggressively* Hey, what can we do here?! It’s raining!

Colleague: We have 200 0ver stores in this mall (it’s 800,000 square feet, bet you haven’t seen all), you can dine in any of our celebrity restaurants, have a ride in the little boat and maybe take pictures with our roving christmas entertainers (mostly kids in reindeer costumes on stilts, a walking christmas tree, a polar bear, gingerbread man.. you get the drift)

Guest: *high pitched* What time will the rain stop?!

Colleague: *taken aback* umm.. it just started, so i’m not really sure..?

Guest: you don’t know what time the rain will stop?!

Colleague: No..

Guest to her husband in the distance: She doesn’t even know when the rain stops!! *stomps off*

Weather forecast is now in our job requirement. I should just join that hotline that my sister frequently calls when they’re planning to shoot outdoors. Unfuckingbelievable.