Just got back from supper with two secondary school friends, the one on the far right is one i havent seen for really damn long, and i can’t describe how completely delighted i was that we finally met up tonight.
We used to always hang out for supper years back at the same spot we went to today, which was the little eating place at Pasir Panjang Rd.. nearby NUS. We’d have prata, or nasi lemak and have teh. It was so good, only because it was with great company. The place was usually full of uni students, glad it wasn’t any different tonight.
I thought it would be awkward, different to hang out together again after years of not seeing each other. It wasn’t bad at all. I guess it was really funny to re-live secondary school dramas. Back then it was such a big deal — and now when you look back in your mid twenties, they were all such trivial matters and we were just being such big babies/drama queens about everything.
I also learnt how some of the rest are doing, and i feel kinda proud of all those who managed to stay in the right lane and be stable and take care of themselves. And to those people who still haven’t got their shit together, that’s ok. We all fuck up in some way or another, it’s the journey and as long as we learn as we go.
I guess what i’m trying to say is.. Back then in school, there were the hot shots, the ones who had carved their paths even back in school, the ones who surprise you in present day.. And it turns out it really doesn’t matter what your status was in school. You never know what the future might bring you. The hot shots become hot shits and vice versa. Really, it’s like in the movies and it really does happen. I wish i knew this back then… That life gets better, if you work towards it.
I finally deactivated my facebook account. It wasn’t the fact that FB itself was irking me out. It was actually the “audience” or rather the “friends” that was in the list.
Personally I’ve been toying with the idea of completely starting my account over for a LOOOOOONG time now. The only thing stopping me was that there were many groups on them that I enjoy being on, and I had joined a whole bunch of groups really. My newsfeed was non-stop entertaining. And.. well, it just got comfortable.
What I didn’t like was, over the years I had accepted so many strangers and acquaintances I never cared for and it had accumulated to a degree I found very stifling. And honestly I don’t understand why people want to be your friend on facebook when they don’t even text you or have ever been a friend to you in real life anyways. I take friendship very seriously. I have to like you and be able to hold a conversation with you to a certain level and enjoy your company to a point to consider you a friend. It also has to be reciprocative. Basically to have you on social media means its the next level in our friendship.. because it means we should be in touch.
And what my facebook account had become.. was not that. It wasn’t a mini hub for me to connect with my friends. It seemed like a dumpster whereby even people whom I know don’t like me are on there. Why the fuck are you in my friend’s list? I don’t know. Why did I accept you? I felt obligated just because I know you in real life.
I created a new, low-key account I’m going to keep a tight rein over.
That is it.
p/s: it might sound pathetic but I guess I feel much more in control of my life right now.. and secure. LOL. weird eh.