Attention Toilet Go-ers.

I just came back from the office toilet and I am kind of traumatized right now. In fact, I’ve been traumatized for over a year plus now and am only starting to voice out now.

*cue camera on me, with my face in the dark and you can only see my dress and twiddled thumbs*

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As I lifted down the lid so that I could sit, I saw light yellow pee pooling at the back of the toilet seat. I mean what the fuck?

I just cant imagine how the previous person did it. I mean, if I were to imagine it, it could’ve been an acrobatic act. Perhaps two hands on both sides of the cubicle walls,  face facing the back wall, body suspended in air, with both legs up and SHHHHHHHHHHHH — starts peeing in mid air. Freakin’ Cirque du Soleil right there.

And this is NOT the first time. I have seen pee and poop on the damn walls and on the floor. Why did these people even bother going to the toilet? They could’ve just done it in the middle of the office hallway or in their own seats and It would’ve achieved the same effect. Goddammit it peoplez.

AND THE WORSE THING IS, I can’t even imagine which one of these well-dressed, outwardly sane looking women were the ones who did it. HOW??? You can be really freakin’ elegant looking, making lots of money, in heels but once you’re in a cubicle you start performing a circus act with aerial silk. WHY??? You frickin’ baboon.

Ugh. Utterly disgusted. Even my cats know how to use their litterbox and have better sense.

Then again, I always feel like one of those grumpy janitors who grumble under their breath whenever our cats occasionally poop outside the litterbox.

NOW LISTEN AND REPEAT AFTER ME: If you’re not an animal, please use the toilet properly.

Say it!! “If I am not an animal, I will use the toilet properly

okbai.

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