Some short update on my little eczema skin:
I’ve been having pretty painful dry and itchy palms and horn-y skin in between my fingers. And because they were so dry, when they crack, it freaking hurts to get soap on them. T_T it started when i used lavender essential oil to put on my kitty to calm him down when he was having some constipation. I think i have allergies to lavender EO now. Because it always gets dry and itchy whenever i get it on whichever parts on my skin. It’s weird.
So yes. Also, my underarms have itchy circular patches as well, they’re kind of gross to look at so you shouldn’t see.
The one on the crook of my left arm has healed very well, for now. I’m soooo grateful. But it switches on and off periodically. Sometimes it comes back, but for now it is very well under control.
I also have a small patch behind my left knee.
I think the most unbearable ones currently are the ones in between my fingers. ON BOTH HANDS! They’re painful especially when you get certain soap on them. So i was whining to a really good friend who is a long time eczema sufferer. I told her i know i needed to find a nice, kind moisturiser. I loved Aqurea, but i was terrified it would sting so bad because of the cracked skin and open “wound”. She suggested i put.. vaseline, as it wouldn’t sting and is kinder.
She’s not wrong, however petroleum jelly by Vaseline.. from Unilever.. that company that does animal testing. 😦 I was in dire need of a really gentle cream with not much irritants though so i had to get myself a small tub as i couldn’t stand feeling like this any longer. Well.. It sort of helped, i wouldn’t lie. But if i could find a kinder alternative, that would be nice.
Next up on regular update: The day i regret being friendly. It’s not you, it’s me.
Okay. So if anyone knows me well, they would know that i am just a big socially awkward dork who wouldn’t be able to save herself in a social situation even if she tried.
I am forever thankful for technology and social media for helping me cope with my social anxiety and stresses. However there would always come that time where i would have to remove myself from behind the screen and come and talk to people.. Or, people would eventually find me.
So afew days ago, i was getting into the lift with my sister to get home, when behind us came this makcik/aunty, who was our neighbor from the third floor. She is not that old, still looks beautiful, very classily dressed in a nice kurung and matchy tudung and she’s probably around mid to late 40s. Basically when you look at her, she is:
So it being Aidilfitri and all, i wished her “Selamat hari raya!” and she wished me back, and we did some really awkward small talk. Although it was supposed to be just a one floor difference, it felt as if we were both going up 30 storeys. It felt really abnormally long in that small elevator space. However in between, during our awkward silence when there was nothing to talk about, probably out of social politeness, she asked “datang rumah?” (“Come over for visiting?”).
Initially i hoped i heard wrongly because i absolutely didn’t know what was the social cue and how to respond, so i was like huh? (“apa dia?”/ “im sorry?”) She then repeated again slowly so that there was no way i could pretend i didn’t hear it.
In my head, a red alarm started blaring, i could see freaking little men running around in panic, some of them jumping into small lifeboats, some drowned, i also saw a ship sinking titanic-style. It was chaotic. My brain just jammed. I didn’t know what kind of response to give that indicated polite declination or neutrality. Logically i was thinking i don’t really know this lady nor does she know me.. i don’t think she really means it anyway, why are we doing this?
Stupid socially awkward me then giggled and said “takpela..” (“it’s ok..”)and giggled again. The level of awkward shot up to 150% after that question.
Do you see this ?
I answered an invitation to come visiting for hari raya with an “it’s ok”.
WHAT A COMPLETE SOCIAL BLUNDER.
However i didn’t think it was that bad until my sister completely overreacted and told me irritably that its a really big deal and i should’ve said “Insha’Allah” (“if Allah wills it). Immediately i felt shitty. I was annoyed that she is overreacting about a small little blunder. At the same time i was also concerned if i really did hurt Aunty Cool Mom’s feelings by saying that. I didn’t say it in a snooty “YEAH? ITS OK, THANKS!” way, it was more of a i-really-don’t-know-what-to-say-to-this. So it wasn’t as if i did it intentionally.
So it was really annoying me to no end.
It annoyed me so much i consulted my other sister who actually laughed at me and thought it was funny and said she could see herself doing the same, and another friend who told me some old people might be really offended, but it was no biggie and told me to chill. Both told me to chill.
I can chill, but can Cool Mom chill?! I mean, Aunty Cool Mom isn’t going to be under her blankets crying to sleep at the memory of my giggly rejection right? Sigh. I sure hope so not. But that was the day i regretted opening my mouth and being too friendly. I really suck at social situations. So please, if ever ever ever i offended anyone in real life whom i’m not close to, but we’ve spoken before, please know i have really terrible social skills and sometimes i’m just too honest for my own good.
So yesterday i met up Ella for coffee after work and it was non stop chattering and i’m glad. So thanks Ella for the interesting perspectives!
Ok anyway i have so much to talk about. But maybe i’ll share tomorrow.
Been blogging alot over at applesugarfree so for my friends who have access do take a look & share opinions etc kay! ❤