I have resorted to hanging out on cookery or food-related message boards, websites and blogs just to look at beautiful photos of food or read recipes out loud to myself or read their descriptions and use my imagination. They are mostly food i cannot eat at this point or ever.. (i love junk food so very much, can you tell? AND spicy food.. being asian and all. Spicy was my life. WAS)
LOL. A little bit pathetic to just stare at the pictures, but it relieves me somewhat.
Especially since i’m such an enthusiastic eater and diner.. who is unable to indulge herself physically.. I can do it mentally and visually though right?
Honestly i go through life with the motto: I live to eat. Now that i cannot eat, suddenly i’m stumped with what to do with my life.. Like what kind of activities am i supposed to shift to now? I really need a new hobby.. BUT WHAT?
I even changed my wallpaper to a photo of some really beautifully fat sausages and kabobs. One of my favourite foods are burgers too. I’ve got burger keychains and burger earrings. Does that display my passion enough? Well. For now, at least if i can’t eat them, i’ll look at them and i’ll walk past food stalls and smell ’em. It’ll keep the inches off my waist i suppose.. And keep my skin clearer.. but my tummy sadder.
But ugh, honestly.
Shall i show you my progress though? (make sure you’re not eating while reading this)
Right but first let me just tell you what i’ve been doing. I’ve been exploring message boards and sites about eczema skin and besides taking medications — which i’m honestly trying to keep to the REALLY minimum, what other.. i don’t know.. skincare products, lifestyle changes or whatever that’d help? AND I saw this mommy poster whose son has eczema and she mentioned she bathed him in castile soap and it cleared him right up.. Somebody else mentioned Dr Bronner’s Castile Soap specifically and i recalled that my sister was using one of those.
So what’s a girl to do, right?
I borrowed my sister’s unabashedly big bottle of Dr Bronner’s Peppermint Castile Soap and tried it on myself. The effect of the peppermint for a tropical country like ours is really useful. It was VERY startlingly cooling and it never irritated the affected areas of my skin — which was the crook of my left arm, the back of my left knee, some speckled on the top of my right hand and between my fingers on both hands, random pimples on my legs. My face.. for now has cleared up and returned to more or less it’s normal state (thank goodness T_T), except for my chin and around the mouth where it might get a little dry and start flaking (which then makes me look like i just woke up and i’ve got dried drool around my mouth. Not a sexy look, my friends)
I also did an overhaul of my diet. I avoided sugared drinks (i used to have canned coffee or milo for breakfast everyday and for snack time), i avoided junk food like the plague, I avoided processed foods when i can except when my mother had to make canned cornbeef. I didn’t dare eat out because i have no idea what they’ve got in their dishes. I also haven’t had any fun things like chocolate or candies. I never even ate my breath mints which are allegedly “sugar free”, basically i avoided sugar like craycray.
I drank copious amounts of water. I had fruit juice. I ate more fruits, but i couldn’t figure out what vegetables i’d like, i’ll think about it later. I got buns or bread and only ate at home. The deal was to sort of detox a little or cut back so that my liver and kidneys didn’t have to work extra hard to filter out toxins.. which they were probably overwhelmed with in the first place, hence the breaking out of my skin. I don’t know. I’m just reflecting back and perhaps i didn’t live the healthiest of ways either even before the ant bite.
So although i feel a little bit embarrassed to be sharing these photos, i just thought i should anyway. As a reminder for myself and to anyone who finds it useful. I’ll be sharing the huge flare up on my arm only as this was the major one i’ve had for so long, and it comes and goes.
Here, below was the big flare up. The atopic dermatitis dotted up all the way to my armpits with really red, itchy looking, well, dots. And although you can’t see from the picture, the dots also went down all the way near my wrist. A really huge area.
It still itches a little i suppose, now and then.
And i’m one hungry little biatch, but i feel fresher and happier and much more relieved and peaceful for now. I hope it stays like this and heals 200%.
Thats all about my skin updates.
The other update is the very sad news of our kitty cat; Kitkat whom we affectionately nicknamed Honeybuns who passed away on the night of 6/3/16 at the Vet’s. She’s only about 9 or 10 years old. When she reached the vet’s it was too late for diagnosis and she went unconscious. The Vets failed to resuscitate her and she finally stopped breathing. We don’t know the cause, but we suspect she might have had some growth in her stomach. I still feel incredibly guilty for not checking her in the vet sooner. I feel really, really sorry, and we all miss our sweet pretty girl very much.
I lost 2 of my greatest friends ever. First, Oringe and now her. She’s been there for me and comforted me when i was grieving for Oringe.. She’s always the one who will greet me at the door and is enthusiastic to hang out with me. She was the kind of girl who, if only she was human, you know you’d enjoy going to the spa with or going shopping together. I still feel animals are the best people who are able to comfort you and only if you’ve ever tried to bond with one and view them as an individual and an equal, then will you ever know whats the meaning of friendship, unconditional love and great company. And it’s nothing that a human can give you, not your spouse, not your vanilla friends. I hope you’re well up there Honeybuns and i miss you and love you very much. Please send my love to Oringe if you ever see him. I love both of you so much.