Miscomms, mispronouns and a self entertaining colleague

Story 1)

A gang of PRC came to my counter. one of the guys, who doesn’t speak english..:

PRC guy: *loud voice, as if i’m deaf* “Ni hao! Wey Shana?”

Me: Shana?? i’m sorry what? i don’t understand..

PRC: “SHANAA.. Shana..?” *looks at his friends for help*

His very pretty gf: *prim face* “SHA-Nehl ”

Me: OH. CHANEL??? let me show you..

Once they left, his friends laughed loudly at him and i could hear distantly their mocking “SHANA!!” at him. lol. poor guy.

Story 2)

Four japanese ladies in mid to late 40s or 50s came to my counter, trying their best to communicate, which i appreciate πŸ™‚

One of their ladies: “How can-uh we go-uh to zee garden bay by duhh”

Me: You mean garden by the bay?

Her friend: “By duhh..”

*controls hysterical laughter bubbling inside of me*

Me: Ok.. let me show you..

Story 3:

Remember my new friend… we nicknamed him “V.I.P”? Yeah.. if you are a new guest here, do read the already linked post (it opens in a new window) We are now colleagues at work.. and he is still as strange as ever. Can you imagine, even the people from the memberships department said he was weird. Here’s part of a small sample of our instant message at work. Yeah, when we’re all at different counters we get to IM other colleagues.. so that’s fun anyway. Most times i’m too busy googling stuff and writing or people watching at the counter to chat much. So my VIP IMed me the following (I SWEAR this is real):

VIP: “All the executives from the CBD area coming for lunch already.”

Me: Yah..

VIP: “The execs look smart.”

*5 minutes later*

VIP: “Thank god the sun didn’t shine into my counter.”

Me: Why not?

*never replies, until 10min later*

VIP: “Abit cloudy now.”

VIP: “Like going to rain.”

It’s almost like i don’t even have to reply anything. He’s just talking to himself and nothing makes sense. You should see the texts, they’re much more entertaining. Maybe next time.. they’re all similarly connectionless, nothing he says are linked. *smacks forehead*

I don’t even have to try.

Story 4:

A local chinese lady came to my counter haughtily.

Haughty Lady aka HL: “Where’s Sissy Lobertun?” *looks around as if Sissy would suddenly pop up*

Me: I’m sorry? Sissy… what?

HL: “Lobertun.. you don’t know? very famous brand!” *stares incredulously at me*

HL then sighs loudly and took our her gold iphone 6 and tapped out what i presume was on google, shoves the screen at my face and.. guess what i read?

Christian Louboutin.

That’s right folks.

How the fug did Christian become Sissy? and why was she such a priss when she doesn’t even know how to pronounce properly..

Me: *my best unhelpful sales assistant expression* So sorry, Lobertun is not here.. We do have Jimmy Chow though if you want.

HL : “No thanks.. ” *waddles off*

-_________________________-

THE END

xx

p/s: oh yeah. i somehow just dislike it when guests start using my name in our interactions. It feels ominous. I prefer it unpersonalized, it just makes me uncomfortable. Please stop saying my name, don’t look at my nametag. Just don’t say it. I know certain people in the customer service industry enjoy being “recognized”.. “as people” when guests use their names.. to each their own.. i, however, hate it. I always get a sinking feeling whenever guests use my name. It’s just.. urgh. Hate it. Sometimes i take off my nametag if i remember to due to this.. (although that’s not allowed) You might accuse it’s because i’m probably not a good service person πŸ™‚ you are 40% correct. The other 60% is just my ego, i like to be secretive and abuse guests anonymously. HEH

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