Guidebook intro: How to keep your sanity, living with distasteful people

Right,

So i’ve been a busy busy busy bee.. or not.

Taking care of my sickly little prince Owinge, reading book after book after book (i’m in the chick lit phase now, the more material extravagance in the stories, the better) and Candace Bushnell always hits bulls eye. On top of all that, and in light of the festive season closing in on us, i have actually been trying to pen a little guide book of my own. The cynic in me shines:

And i’d just like to share a sneak peek.

Intro:

Are you currently having to deal with evil relatives, and/or evil parent(s), perhaps? Maybe you have considered performing a homicide, Or Several homicides. On several people. You even planned what tools you will use, what style, will it be a stylish hanging, or a simple shoving the nasty person down the stairs, the all-too-popular smothering them with a pillow, the mixologists’ way of mixing rat poison in their food and drinks, or you are actually rather fond with the idea of pulling a Van Gogh and stabbing them through the neck, painting their wall, or your wallΒ  (if you must) with their blood and then cutting your ear off just so you don’t have to hear their incessant screaming or gasps. You see you’re being creative right? Your teacher has always told you to think out of the box, and this is your chance to, whatever age you are.

It’s going to be called :

“How to keep your sanity,

living with distasteful people”

Got a nice passive aggressive ring to it eh?

No, it’s not a guidebook on murder unfortunately. It’s a guidebook to help you stop feeling this way, and i’m going to need a lot of help with this one. I will need a lot of help, because if i don’t get to stab someone else, then i will stab myself. Repeatedly, with a fork.

I HATE the festive season.

On the other hand, Selamat Berpuasa to all muslim sisters!.. and brothers, on second thoughts.

p/s: i am trying to write other cheerier stuff.. eeeeehhh. It’s not my style.

pp/s: who else has a ridiculous family and would actually like a copy of this. Tell me.

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