The girl with excellent time management skills & high creep tolerance

So i’ve recently got this new part time colleague who is both hilarious with her stories and jokes and also the fact that she has two boyfriends.. makes her even more fascinating, i really just want to keep her in a jar and observe her. (i’m kidding, yall know a joke when it’s staring you in the face right?)

I know.

It really is strange. When she first shared with me, or rather actually when we both first started tip toeing around each other testing the other’s personality and to gauge if we could get along.. you know. The standard protocol of two homo sapiens measuring each other up. You know the drill. Of course there were the standard questions of

  • Where do you stay?
  • How long have you been working here?
  • What was your previous job(s)
  • How many siblings have you got, their names etc.

and lastly..

  • Have you got a special someone in your life?

Ok. That sounded too formal. “have you got a boyfriend?”. This is one of the popular questions i have noted.

And she told me that she does. Long story short, she revealed that she has two. TWO BOYFRIENDS. well pardon me.. but that is just simply appalling. Appalling and exhausting and horrifying because i can’t even handle one boyfriend, and the thought that she is super amazing with time management, acting and organizing of schedules so that neither of the boyfriends clash with each other nor suspects anything at all just about made me faint. It’s just too much work. I really need to get my sister to hire her because her acting skill is as top notch as she is organized. Companies value these skills, no?!

Now let me just describe my new observational interest of a part timer to you. I honestly wouldn’t expect she would be “that kind of girl”, then i mentally slapped myself, i mean, what would a two-timing girl look like in my head? hmm? Two headed with forked tongues wearing nipple pasties? I honestly don’t know. That was just a stereotype.

This girl seemed nice, wholesome, a bit on the very skinny side, long straight hair. Totally opposite of what i had in mind (no.. not that one with the pasties, no) But it was interesting. Very interesting. I guess you can never tell.

Turns out she is always swamped with those kinds of psychotic guys who stalk and refuse no for an answer. So she took the second boyfriend in, like adopting a cat. Both guys are from well to do families (win-win, in my book). The second boyfriend, hereby referred to as Z, is fully aware he is.. well, a second boyfriend to her and is completely fine with that. But he really just wants to live, breath and.. err eat with her. If that is not creepy i don’t know what is? How is being second best okay?

But she herself has identified that he is completely psychotic and needy, clingy and pushy. Really pushy and so i asked her how she deals with it then? As if i was asking about the weather and asking how she deals when it’s raining, she seemed to take it in her stride. Everytime she wants to leave him, He threatens to kill himself if she left him, he begs her no and wouldn’t leave her and let her go home even if it’s past 2AM. . Now, in a cat, stalker-ish habits and being creepy would be deemed very cute for me, but in a person, it’s just.. no. This isn’t normal right? It’s not just me?

So i tell her, in my own way, knowing myself and my infamous mistrust of people in general. He sounds almost dangerous and has that something you can’t quite put a finger on.. you know, it’s like you listen to him, you look at him and you know there is something wrong with him. Oh i dunno.. *shrugs* Maybe something missing in his frontal lobe of the brain.

And she actually made a joke of it. She was telling me:

“hmm.. nevermind. if tomorrow you don’t see me at work. you’ll know what happened… hahahahhha” and then she just laughed. A very long laugh.
It’s really just like a circus here. I’m surrounded by crazy people.

I don’t think this is the last i will hear of any weird things.

P/s: why do people wear caps anymore? you know. those caps. visors. i always imagined serial killers sporting those on just before they leave their houses to terrorize someone. oh i dunno.. morbid ole’ me. But seriously, don’t wear caps. They just look creepy, especially with a striped polo tee and bermudas. I mean, even Ted Bundy dressed better. -___-

pp/s: and… is it evil of me to be thinking of those old acquaintances whom i used to know and.. well. I mean, it was a ridiculous past with ridiculous people, nobody wants that in their lives, no?


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