terribly tired of the media

u know what im sick of?
im sick of seeing half naked bodies writhing about in every single music video i land upon and the fact that people think its ok
im sick of music singing about clubbing and drinking & drugs n sex and the fact that people think its ok. (they’re all hits, and there’s just too many of them, one after another.. you’re not counting bieber though right? he hasn’t started on this yet)
im sick of how cheap women seem to be presented and the fact that people think its ok
im sick of how they sell sex (even when the music isnt related to it) and the fact that people think its ok

there seems to be a shortage of fabric around. you know, i never seemed to have a problem with this before, but im just saying that im sick of it.
i want something different for god’s sake. something fresher. is modesty nothing anymore? pride? self worth?

and im sick of how young people find these things cool, or even somebody to be idolized or role modeled after.
(with these thoughts, some may call me ‘old woman’ or traditional, or whatever, but i just wanna put my thoughts up anyway)

sometimes i do feel excluded that i dont do things that are "trendy" right now.
drinking. clubbing every night. or even smoking (u know at school, one girl sticks to me, just cos she doesnt smoke? i like the rest though, theyre good people.) and maybe im stiff. people might label me stiff or unflexible or uncool.

im not extremely conservative nor narrow minded. no. yes i can joke and talk about the most obscene things, i am open to these.
sometimes my sister calls me slutty even (jokingly HAHA) cos its not like i dress like a monk or behave like one.
my friends arent saints & neither am i.
but im telling you, the media really is  corrupting kids. influencing in a bad way, big time. and its like a spiderweb. spreading and spreading..

the media is so sad.

and dont get me started about material things. as if thats all that matters in the world. i keep having to remind myself theyre not. i get caught up in it sometimes and when i realize it, i start to slow down. sigh. i slowed down alot these past 2 weeks and im starting to notice things i wished i never noticed.

i miss my friends. so glad tmr meeting anisahh baby. (i think)

oh yeah, yesterday The Boy took me to swensens. πŸ˜€
its my first there. O.O *muka sad child hood*
and i kept whining my body aching (it really is! dammit. played badminton the other day during phys ed.. n im aching all over.. even the muscles i never knew i had. ARGHHHH. i walk like an old woman, cramp here *butt* cramp there *thighs, calves* crampp *shoulder* crammmpp *arms* EVERYWHERE. *sniffs* but i love badminton. been 3 years.. no wonder i feel rickety. -.- humphf)

so anyway! had the Fried Fish with Apricot Mayo Sauce with fries & Coleslaw. its so sedapp nyah.
then he ask me whether i want dessert… dia step tak kenal aku je. never say never ok!! i want!
banana split it is… ^^ i couldnt finish it so i told him to finish up his share, he said "ehh??? baik ahh.." and dug in.
perangai tong sampah. but nevermind!  very good. i likes. πŸ˜€ very happy. thank you !

He also asked me, since its my first time, confirm im gonna blog about it right, and yes here i am.
he asked me "why ah?" still got cheek ask me why. -.- hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. i pondered about it afew minutes… and finally settled on: i blog because i dont talk or confide much. thats the sole reason.. ‘nother reason will be cos i feel good typing.. i may not be a speech person, but im in love with words. i love how they make me feel when i read them (:

wahhh very deep.

today i bathed my little pastry boy.. he smells all herbal and good now.. i just feel like hugging him all the way but i cant cos he will feel suffocated. i have pictures (he still looks very fatfit when he’s drenched. will load pics some other day.) and his coat is so soft nowwwwww…. as if its fabric softener.. ^^ awwwwwww. he looks like a pillow. i love pastry boy Owinge. ❀

and i think i did something wrong…. .GAAAAAAHHHHH FUGGG. if they ask me to pay financially im gonna kill myself rather than come back because i seriously ICU nak mampos broke to the max as of the moment (uniform & tools = pricey) and im too proud a person to ask for help. so i sincerely hope they dont even think about going there.

macam nonok. this brings "past coming back to haunt you" to a whole new level of meaning.

lepas satu, satu. streshhh ok i! today FINALLY SETTLED SOME STUFF THATS BEEN MAKING MY BLOOD BOIL (i hate school admin staff ok, i swear, if you hate your job so much kau quit bodoh) so i finally could breathe out. then now! gakkkkkk. stab me………..
and i should always look at documents properly rightttttttt… why didnt i do that… tsk. so angry at myself. very angrrrryyyyyyy!!!!!

but nevermind. *zen* people make mistakes, correct?
and there’s nothing i can’t handle, true? TRUE *bangs on table as confirmation of statement*

tmr is practical.. class is so early… things are so heavy… im nervous & excited.. O.O
theory has been reaaaaally interesting. good read *anyone wanna see my notes? hehehhee*

k bye.

note to self: breathe in, breathe out. dont panic. small matter k. bigger things in the world to worry about. you’re a strong girl, you can handle it.

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