tumblee.. tumblr-ing & just a little cautionary message to friends, acquaintances

Dear friends, acquaintances & strangers,


i rather like to think of myself as a wallflower not so flowery.
just a wall. basically. if that makes sense.

Nowadays i feel like i’m finally showing who i really am.
i guess the girl who you thought you knew — that wasn’t really me.
so please don’t say i’ve changed because i really haven’t. this is who i really have been all along.
(don’t lie, i know you think/have been discussing that i’ve changed a little so now i’m telling you..
or is that my paranoia speaking..)

the things i’m doing now, what i’m liking, loving, the things i’ve been writing either privately or not.
they have never lied.
physically, sure i can lie and put on a mask, i’m sure that’s what everybody does.

I guess it’s just recently i’ve been really.. tired of friends, people in general.
nothing is wrong with
you, it’s just me. I just need a break. from socializing.
(i know i have very little friends, can be counted with two hands, without them i wouldn’t even have friends
and our social gatherings are a rare occurrence, i know, i know. )

i’m not a social butterfly always trying to entertain people, making jokes and always appearing feeling-less.
No.
i have alot of feelings. alot, and i am quiet by nature.
i don’t know why i masked them with an almost-fake flamboyancy but i can’t stop.
Sometimes a dam’s just gotta burst you know. This is one of those moments.

i’m just really tired of talking and communicating i suppose. -_-
so i just want to shut my mouth and shut myself in a room, watching animes all day long, probably throwing in some reading,
you know, normal nerd stuff.
i very politely ask you to please understand that i need a little time-off.

so if we could postpone our little picnic, that would be great.

ST went cycling at Pulau Ubin with her friends, i was supposed to come along
but decided not to yesterday night.

i’ve been tumblr-ing today (but still haven’t posted photos on the tumblr, LOL)
and im gonna continue episode 7 black butler in a second.

tomorrow will be the end of my "break". so YAY.
okay bye, gonna prepare food then watch ep 7.

x

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